So Much For That

Last year I wrote an entry about how my life had changed and that I was going to start posting everyday. That obviously didn't happen. I wrote about my journey as a non traditional college student, how burn-out is real and that I was still so unsure of what I was doing almost three years after I had graduated with a degree in journalism that I hadn't used.

Update: I still haven't used my degree and I still don't know what to do, surprise!

Did I seriously think I was going to write, edit and post an entry everyday? I'm not saying it's an unachievable goal but for someone with a full-time job wiping your ass everyday and keeping up with a skin care ritual is a win okay.

Realistically I should've known I was not going to post everyday.

The truth is I've had a fucking bitch of a year, not to be dramatic but it's been the worst. My car took a major shit on me in March. I knew it was going to happen sooner than later and to be honest I was relieved at first, but about a week later the reality set in that I would be car-less living in a very car-centric city. On top of that I still owed almost $7k on it. I only had Betty White (my cars name) for about 13 months, just barely over a year and suddenly she was useless. So there I was left with a car payment for a car I couldn't even drive. It was like paying rent and still being homeless. I felt devastated and defeated.

It's been a time.

I did finally pay off my car last month and got rid of it. That kind of feels like an accomplishment but I still feel so unsatisfied. I am a fastidious person sometimes so it's no surprise, but paying off my car isn't enough. I want a new job in a new city and a whole new life.

I don't know how it's going to happen but I need a life change more than I ever have. Fortunately I like changing my life, and it won't be my first rodeo. Doesn't mean it'll be less stressful but it doesn't even matter because it's what's needed.

I hope I post on here more, I don't know if I will but I hope I do.

I'm at this cute coffee shop thats across the road from my apt. I've been meaning to come here for about a year. I've thought many times about coming here on a day off in the afternoon and sitting here on my laptop and writing. I'm glad I'm doing that now.

It takes me awhile but I'll get there.